Scottish Golf in the Winter.

So the winter has been and gone meaning the golf season over here is now in full swing again. I didn't blog all winter as this blog is supposed to be about golf tours and the people I meet along the way.For many reasons I didn't think it was appropriate to bore you with the details of my activities in the winter but I will give you a brief precis of what has been going on.
Most of the winter was spent working for a company called Courtney Travel, owned by a guy called Jim Gaw. The work was varied, December for example consisted of primarily driving people to and from Christmas parties, going there they were great but coming home most of them were drunken assholes ! Most of my work involved working on film or TV productions, as said in previous blogs the job is about transporting whatever is needed from A to B. Mostly sandwiches and coffee etc. Some days you get an important piece of paperwork or extras to ferry A to B.
A lot of tourists ask do we play golf during the winter months in Scotland ? Well the answer is in the picture on the right which was the view from my hotel room, the 1st fairway on "The Championship Course" at Carnoustie. This was taken at 9am on Friday 4th December and if you look closely you will notice local members halfway down the fairway. So that should answer the question. However I would like to point out that we have just experienced the worst winter in my twenty years in Scotland. Shortly after this picture was taken it snowed and felt like it continued to do so until March. But generally we can play here during the winter months.
Yesterday I picked up my first golf clients of this season, they arrived weary and tired after a seven hours delay due to a technical problem with their flight from Toronto. Talking of delays I notice that Iceland has kindly donated more volcanic dust for our consumption. Is it not bad enough that they have the audacity to ask us to invest money in their bank and then decide to keep it, now they block our flight paths with volcanic dust ! Next thing you know they'll be sending us Puffins with learning difficulties so they can claim benefits here just to try and mess up our economic system even more ! I can live with that as long as they don't send Bjork back here !!!
Back to the real world my delightful Canadian fourball enjoyed their first round of golf on The Ailsa Course at Turnberry today followed by dinner at Wildings, which is just a five minute drive down the road. Tomorrow we have an early tee time at Prestwick and then we travel over to Edinburgh for a couple of days sightseeing.
Those of you who know me well you can stop laughing now !! Those of you who don't know and are kind enough to read this rubbish I'll explain when I meet you.
Remember next Saturday 3pm Blackpool F.C. play Cardiff, the winners are promoted to the premier league, fingers crossed its been a long wait since 1971.

The Last Word Film Shoot.

It's that time of year when I start to look for alternative means of employment, primarily to keep me occupied and pay my bills. Some tour operators spend their winters living off their seasons earnings and next years deposits, me I just go to work. In winters gone by I have done an assortment of jobs to pass the time. One of them you can read about in a previous blog " The Grumpy Bus Driver in Bristol ".
When I caddied on The Old Course I put myself through university and eventually got a degree in modern history. The long term plan back then was to become a teacher a path that I abandoned when I realised that teenagers are close to the top of my list of dislikes. After completing university I went to Florida for a couple of winters only to discover that caddying here in Scotland and caddying at a Florida country club are two completely different jobs. Here caddying is a skill, it's about knowing your golf course, reading greens and weather conditions something you get better at with experience. In Florida it's about cleaning golf clubs and kissing ass, to be honest a chimpanzee could do the job and probably better than some of the caddies I met ! So needless to say I was quite happy to give that nonsense up. At some point in the future I will write about my time there if just to keep Maurice amused.
Until the last couple of winters I worked in the care industry helping people with learning difficulties, now that is an experience that I learnt of lot from. The last four winters were primarily working with young men who are autistic. I had the good fortune to work with people who would be placed at different levels on the autistic spectrum, from those who were severely challenging to many aspergers people who would be at the top end of the spectrum. A lot of people can be very patronising towards these guys without intending to do so, me I have great admiration for them as they manage to maximise their abilities everyday. How many of us can say we do that ? Again another blog for another day. Which brings to how we ended up working on the film shoot for "The Last Word".
During the summer I did the occasional little bit of work for a company called Courtney Travel, a transport company west of Glasgow owned by Jim Gaw and his Father-in-Law Harry. Jim has a full time staff but every so often he needs extra drivers. My first experience of working with Jim was driving the rock stars and entourage to and from a festival called "T in the Park". An eye opener to say the least.
The first day I had to transport the crew of Franz Ferdinand back from the concert to their hotel in Edinburgh. The second day I had the misfortune of collecting Glasvegas and transporting them to and from Glasgow. The band themselves were OK but the lead singer has an attitude that has to be experienced to be believed. By 1am the next morning I'd had enough of his constant moaning and bitching and my red mist descended, we were very quickly kept apart by his manager and fair play to the nuss he did have a remarkable change in attitude on the journey back. By the time we had returned to Glasgow the coach was the best thing since sliced bread and the singer thought it would be a good idea to take it and the driver on their next tour of Europe. Personally I'd rather stick a live wasp up my backside than contemplate another minute with them. The final day I had to collect Nathan the guitarist from Snow Patrol and his family from Edinburgh and take them to and from the festival, nice people. Isn't it strange how the coach is good enough for a class act like Snow Patrol, top of the bill and sold millions of Cd's, yet not good enough for some wannabees from Glasgow ! Funny world we live in !
Anyway I digress, I ended up driving the minibus on the film set of " The Last Word" due to Roy Andersons land of unfulfilled promises. Roy owns McLaren Travel a transport company specialising in golf tours, at the start of the season Roy promised many tours and a lot of work. I'm still waiting Roy ! So having a gap in my calender I was only too pleased to help Jim and myself, plus I got to experience something new. Now I am not the greatest film watcher and an even rarer visitor to the cinema, suffice to say I had no idea about the goings on that go into making a film. It is indeed a very unusual world.
Firstly the job of the minibus driver on a film set is very simple, you transport whoever and whatever from A to B as and when directed. In terms of status you are definitely at the bottom end of the food chain, but there are a lot of people like myself down there. The film set itself will consist of two bases; The Unit Base which will house an assortment of mobile homes and offices, consisting of mobile homes for the star actors/actresses, offices for the production staff, make up department, costume department, a catering van and dining room and toilets etc. The other base is the location where the production company are making the film. The minibus driver normally transport whatever is required from one to the other and back again. This could be anything from camera crew and equipment, members of staff, costumes and the tea and coffee, plus whatever else someone has forgotten to take with them.
The most amazing thing for me was this whole village can be taken down and re-assembled overnight wherever the filming may be taking place the next day. Considering that people would start work on this set at 5am (or some earlier) and not finish till after 7pm, the facilities crew do a remarkable job. They completely re-house this small village overnight and manage to supply it with electricity and water. Now I know that the minibus driver does not have the worst job on set.
The actors have their own chauffeur driven transport, the only actors the minibus gets to collect are the extras. Although on this film I did often transport young Richard Mack to and from home, a promising young actor who thankfully suffers from a lack of ego, hopefully he will stay that way. One of the drivers was a guy called Jass Brown who has driven over the years for all the lead actors on films made in this area, you could write a book on the snippets of gossip he let you into. Jass was looking after Ewan McGregor who is the lead actor in the film. The leading lady is Eva Green, apparently the "Bond Girl" in Casino Royale. It's amazing how different people look in real life compared with what you see on the screen. I don't mean that in any detremental way, many people you believe to be bigger or heavier, Eva for example although very pretty could definitely do with a good dinner.
As for the film itself I have very little to no idea what it is about, as there is no book on sale yet. From what little I saw and heard it appears that some virus is killing all and the stars need to find a cure asap. But to find out how true that is I guess we will have to wait until the film comes out.
The thing that struck me the most is how long the days are, the actors are on the set for twelve hours and we are there before they arrive and after they leave. As I have said before if you ever watch an interview on TV and the actor/actress say there work is very boring well believe me it is. What you eventually see on the screen bears no resemblance to what takes place when the film is being made. Suffice to say it was an interesting week or two and I got to learn about something new.
At the moment I am working on another film set which is travelling all around Scotland filming in the most remote places. The film is called "The Eagle of the 9th", all about a Roman Legion that was sent to Scotland and disappeared. If they experienced the weather I have over the last two weeks it's not a mystery that they disappeared believe me. This week we are off to Loch Maree, Applecross and Glencoe, one of the three I have heard of. I'll let you know how it goes at a later date and the story behind the leading mans burning testicles !

The Eden Club Founders Cup.

After our little golf tour it was time to go back to work, this time with a company called The Eden Club. For those of you that wish to know a little more about this organisation you can look them up at http://www.theedenclub.com/. You will find the information you need on that website.
The work is very different from the normal service I provide and it really is nothing more than a chauffeur service for some wealthy people. The interaction we normally have on our golf tours doesn't occur on these events, it's just a case of transporting people from A to B, with a smile of course.
I've done this job for the last five years or so, thanks to my working relationship with Max Espie and his partner Mick Moore. They are both responsible for the logistics at The Eden Club in St Andrews. The work is bearable because of their camaraderie and craic ! In the early days we enjoyed the work the pay was good and we only worked a twelve hour day because all the members stayed at The Old Course Hotel. Therefore all the evenings dinners and entertainment was in the hotel, so once we had got them all back from the golf courses we were free for the rest of the evening.
The dynamics of this job changed a couple of years ago when the club purchased and renovated Pitormmie House, which is a ten minute drive from St Andrews. Now the members who stay at The Old Course Hotel have to be transported to Pitormmie House for their evenings entertainment, thereby turning what used to be a twelve hour day into an eighteen hour day and all for the same money ! As is fitting with the image of The Eden Club Pitormmie House has been renamed Pitormmie Castle, which only goes to confuse the local cab drivers.
The Founders Cup is a tournament for members and their guests, they play a Stableford Competition on three courses, The Old Course, Carnoustie and Kingsbarns, so the job involves transporting the guests from their accommodation to the courses and back, then when they have showered and changed up to Pitormmie Castle for their evenings entertainment.
So far this summer The Eden Club has supplied me with over thirty days work so I'm hardly likely to say anything untoward in this article, but there is many a time when I am working for them I can't help thinking that things could be so much better, if the powers that be just stopped and thought for a moment.
Poor Mick and Max have been run ragged all summer along with their part time assistant Frank, I don't know what these guys get paid but I don't think it's enough for what they have to put up with. Meanwhile the members receive a first class service unaware of the difficulties that go in to providing that service. Suffice to say that once my four days service was complete I had the pleasure of catching up with some sleep, meanwhile 'Pick & Mix', as they are commonly referred to continue with their long days. Good luck guys !!

Royal Troon Golf Club ( Portland Course )

The final round of our three day golf outing was a game at The Portland Course, at Royal Troon. Stewart Watt is a member here so much to Decky's delight we got a cheap round ! Turned out to be a lot cheaper than we thought as Stewart wouldn't take any money off us.

Royal Troon normally offers a round on the Portland Course as part of its all day package, which includes a round on the Old and lunch. A lot of visitors tend to overlook the round on The Portland as they don't want to play thirty six holes, I have been guilty of this in the past myself. Having now played the course a few times I can honestly say don't overlook it, if it is on your schedule play it, you will enjoy the visit.

In many ways Royal Troon is like St Andrews, people generally only visit the place because they want to play the Old Course and the package that most of you sign up to will include either the New Course or The Jubilee ( or most recently The Castle Course, more about that thing at a later date), in this case The Portland Course. Once the wish of playing these famous courses is completed most golfers view the add on courses with some disdain, I say underestimate these lovely golf courses at your peril because it will be your loss if you choose not to take up the chance to play them.

The Old Course at Royal Troon will always be in my top five golf courses in Scotland. I really like the gentle start where the first few holes can lead you to believe that the course is not that difficult. However I think the back nine, particularly into the prevailing wind is as difficult a finish as any course I've played. I include Carnoustie in this because regardless of the wind conditions there I have always scored better at Carnoustie than Royal Troon.

The Portland Course on the other hand is very different from The Old Course at Troon. There are some great holes and they are not necessarily too long. Having said that I have been fortunate that every time I've played there the wind has decided to take the day off, but I can imagine that some holes will play long on a windy day, but I'm in no rush to discover that ! Many of the par fours and fives are not necessarily a driver off the tee, particularly you long hitters, I can take driver off them all. The par three's I like my shortest club was a six iron at the tenth.

Anyway lets get down to the nuts and bolts of the day. Stewart and Chip played Decky and myself although we won the first hole by default the way Stewart started we thought we were going to get a spanking. Stewart hits the ball so far for a man of his size and age it's ridiculous. So when he hits it straight as he did this morning he is impossible to beat. Luckily for us he returned to normal on the back nine and was soon fishing for his ball in the rough like he was yesterday. Decky and I scrapped home on the seventeenth with a nice birdie.

After the game Stewart invited us back to The South Beach Hotel, (which is owned by his family) for some lunch, which consisted of homemade soup and some salmon for main course. He was indeed the perfect host for the day and for that we would all like to thank him. On top off that we wish him all the best and a speedy recovery for his Mum. A lovely man with a heart of gold but I wouldn't swap his troubles for mine so I wish him all the best, and thanks again for a great day.

"A Grumpy Bus Driver in Bristol"

For the people who are kind enough to read my nonsense this is just a quick message to say I am so far behind with my blogging I make Obahmas health bill seem express. I have the final part of our golf tour to complete and my work for the Eden Club Founders Tournament to complete. At this moment in time I am working on film shoots that are taking place throughout Scotland. For those of you that think the film business is glamorous believe me it is not !
Yes I get to meet famous people but believe me these guys earn their dosh, a minimum of 12 hour days, no breaks and crap surroundings. On the plus side you get well fed and watered. Next time you watch an actor on TV saying his/her job is really very boring, take it from me it is.
Anyway the purpose of this little note is to show the variety of work I do in the winter to make the world go round, as in pay one's bills. The film work has come courtesy of Jim Gaw who owns`a company called Courtney Travel, next summer we will be using his transport to carry you around.
Last winter I took an agency driving job in Bristol driving a bus, it was horrendous, the drivers in the south of England are the most stupid people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. After a bad day at work I wrote the following letter to the local paper, needless to say they did not print it and to be fair I don't blame them, but it was my rant and I felt better for getting it off my chest. So here we go;
"Why is your Bus Driver so Grumpy Bristol ? "
"Everyday you wait on your bus whether your going to work, from work, to town or visiting friends, relatives etc. Whatever the reason the bus when it arrives, usually late, you are greeted with the face of a grumpy bus driver. Not always but more often than not ! Have you ever considered what could make this public servant such a miserable person ? Well I will tell you.
I work for an agency that supplies bus drivers nationwide. We are sent all over the U.K. wherever there is a shortage of local drivers. For the last year I have driven for First Bus in Bristol and it now appears that they have recruited enough local drivers to meet their demand, so our contract is coming to an end. We as agency drivers have been in Bristol for the last three years, many have come and gone. A lot of them haven’t stayed the course and I can’t blame them for going home.
We are lured away from home with promises of good wages and a place to stay at a reasonable cost. The truth of the matter is you don’t always get paid what you are promised, you stay in miserable houses with complete strangers who you have never met before. Should you manage to find a decent place of your own the agency still deducts rent money from your pay for a house you don’t ever stay in ! There are drivers who live in Bristol, work for the agency yet still pay rent for houses they have never lived in, apparently that is legal !!! The agency keep back a portion of your salary should you be deemed guilty of any alleged misdemeanour. This could be anything from being too ill to go to work, an inability to complete a shift, involved in an accident, or whatever the agency deems fit to be described as a misdemeanour.
However I digress from the real reason for the glum face you often encounter driving your bus. Whether you are an agency driver away from home, or a local First Bus driver, or a driver for any of the other bus companies, the reason for our misery is the lunatics that drive their cars around Bristol ! Never in my life have I come across such incompetence, arrogance, stupidity and downright dangerous. The people I have met on my travels on the bus, 95% are good company and very polite. So what happens when you get in your cars ?
Let me explain in the simplest of terms so there can be no misunderstandings here. Buses often weigh over ten tonnes, they are approximately 33 to 35 feet long. We can be carrying up to 76 people when full, that is a lot of lives to be responsible for and to try to get to their destination safely. We drive within the speed limit because we can’t really go any faster. But here is the crux of the matter, we have to leave enough space in front of us to be able to stop safely that is why there is nearly always a reasonable gap between us and the car in front, so we don’t crush the car in front when we try to stop !
So tell me drivers of Bristol why is it so important that you have squeeze in to that space and risk getting killed. Why during a nine hour shift do I have to spend eight and a half hours doing my up most not to crush the car in front. Where are you going that is so important that it is worth dying for, or serious injury ? Is there some mysterious terminal illness you catch if you don’t get in front of the bus ? You perform the crazy manoeuvre whenever you see the bus. When the bus is at a bus stop is it so imperative that you have to risk life and limb to get passed it before it pulls out ? You dive into the oncoming traffic regardless of risk to all rather than be stuck behind the bus. You pull out of junctions when you see the bus coming down the road. You will do whatever you have to rather than be behind the bus.
Well let me tell you Bristol’s drivers I have driven all over the U.K. and you are categorically the worst drivers I have met. I don’t say this to annoy you, because apparently I can do that well enough just by driving the bus on your roads. I say this for your safety. Sooner or later someone is going to get seriously hurt, maimed or even die because of your unreasonable behaviour. Yet of course you will blame the bus driver, you know the one you tried to force your way passed. The one you refused to let out because your important life is so busy you don’t have the time to get behind the bus.
Before you get all upset and start ranting and raving about bus drivers who force their way out, block up roads, and generally are a nuisance to you the car driver, let me explain why we have to take this action.
It appears that the normal rules of the road don’t apply to the drivers of Bristol. For example, when did a bus stop become a convenient free parking space ? That is why the bus has stopped in the middle of the road because you have left your car at the bus stop while you complete your very important business. Meanwhile the road has blocked up and there is a queue of angry drivers behind the bus. Still it’s not important after all you were only there five minutes.
Since when did double yellow lines mean park when and where you want ? Think about it next time you abandon your car on Gloucester Road come back and find a traffic jam because the bus can’t get passed. But don’t concern yourself too much because the people in the traffic jam will blame the bus driver, and after all you were only five minutes! Over the last month I have actually seen traffic wardens for the first time since I have been here so there is some hope on the horizon.
When you approach a roundabout I was always led to believe that the left hand lane was for turning left, guess what I was wrong ! Apparently in Bristol the car in the right hand lane doesn’t have to go right or even straight on, no you put your foot down and dive to the left in front of the bus. That one took a bit of learning but I’m ready for it now.
So who is the worst culprit ? Well there is no real statistical evidence only what I see day in day out. I now realise that BMW drivers have the right to do whatever they want, whenever they want with no blame attached to their actions, regardless of consequences. I smile when I see their behaviour often because Freud springs to mind, big car etc. Still with modern surgery as it is the penile problems can be fixed !
White van man, well actually nearly all vans regardless of colour. You all know the one I mean, shaven head because he is not really bald, beer belly but he still looks good with his shirt outside his trousers. Normally has a tattoo, a lot of them have it round their neck but they have never read what it says because every time they look in the mirror the tattoo is back to front. You see them driving along and nothing will get in their way. You will see them coming, angry grimace, eyes popping out like racing dogs testicles, and you sometimes see the veins sticking out on the neck, depending on the tattoo of course. Sorry but sometimes I have to use your road.
But here is the one that drives me to despair. I’m driving along and leave enough space to stop safely and it happens again a car dives into the space and slams its brakes causing the bus driver to slam his/her brakes on, another accident avoided thankfully. Then you look up and see the sign in the back of the car,’ baby on board ‘ or ‘little princess on board’. Then I get really angry because how stupid and irresponsible are you ? You a parent and do you really believe that a sign is going to save your children’s life, when the idiot parent drives like a lunatic ? Well do you stupid ?
Believe it or not I’ve enjoyed my time in Bristol but it has now come to an end. I’ve meet some great people on my bus but then I’ve never seen them drive. Yes I do smile on my way round, well most of the time and the passengers seem to appreciate it. Perhaps you drivers should try smiling once in a while instead of spending your day getting angry with each other and trying to force yourselves into a space you don’t really fit. Once a day someone will let me out into the road and I will be grateful as it will help me keep on time safely. Every time someone does this it gives me hope, then along comes the next car and we are all back where we started. It’s only a couple of seconds people but it would make a world of difference and who knows your bus driver may even smile, well not all of them.
Try it please before you kill someone."

Not that I would say " I told you so " !
Daily Mirror Monday 23rd November 2009.
"Bristol is Britain's car crash capitol - with more than a third of residents having had at least one prang in the last year, a poll found.
Swansea came second in the survey, ahead of Belfast, Coventry and Brighton."

Told You So !!!!!

Western Gailes Golf Club

Western Gailes is a golf course situated on the Ayrshire coast ten minutes north of Troon, and was the next port of call for Chip, Decky and myself. Making up the fourball was Stewart Watt owner of the South Beach Hotel in Troon.

Western Gailes is a very special place and unbeknown to them it will always be one of the finest courses in Scotland thanks to a history that I have with the course. Many years ago a good friend of mine Jack McClusskie, was the manager at Western Gailes, the greatest regret of his life was the day he had to leave.

I've known Jack for the best part of twenty years and have spent many a happy hour in his company on a golf course. Jack is not in the best of health these days it seems that Father Time can catch up with the best of us. He is a stickler for the rules of golf and unimpressed by anyone who does not abide by the correct etiquette. Between him and a gentleman called Maurice Berg I was well grounded in the do's and don'ts on a golf course, for that alone I am eternally grateful. However the purpose of all this detail is that Jack spent many an hour regaling me with tails from his time at Western Gailes. So much so that I felt I knew the course long before I had the good fortune to play it. Jack still fondly remembers when the bar would close at 5pm so the members could catch the last train back to Glasgow, and his uniform was a morning suit which included a jacket with tails. But most importantly he remembers how kind the members were and the great relationship he had with the captain. A time of no written contracts just a handshake followed by a good glass of port.

The club still has that same warmth about it, both Barry(The Secretary)and Vicky(who does the rest), have continued the tradition that Jack told me about. Most visitors to this area are pre-occupied with Royal Troon Prestick or Turnberry, miss this course and you have missed the essence of what golf in Scotland is all about. Western Gailes is a great course with facilities and manners that remind you of all that was good in days gone by.

Both Barry and Vicky are clever enough to realise that they have to compete with the likes of Troon, Prestwick and Turnberry within a limited budget. To do this the club is very kind in extending invitations to tour operators like myself, and I would like to thank them for their generosity for inviting my friends and myself. Let me just say whilst I reluctantly paid money to play Loch Lomond, Western Gailes I would pay to play. As all golfers know some courses you just feel good to be on and this is one of mine.

When you get there it is like a step back in time, to the days when life was good and all the summers were warm and sunny. You will be met at the door by George, and have the privilege of meeting Henry on the first tee. There is no professional shop at Western Gailes everything you need is stored behind the bar, from balls to shirts plus good beer. The dress code is relaxed in the bar but should you wish to use the second bar jacket, shirt and tie will be required, but there is no real need to go in there. The changing rooms alone are worth the visit !

Don't be fooled when you look at the scorecard, the course may not be long but that does not make it easy. If you are visiting for the first time order a caddy, the line off the tee is not always obvious and some second shots are blind. We were fortunate enough to play it on a calm day, believe me when the wind blows this course will make mincemeat of your handicap. The greens are among some of the finest to putt on, what you see is what you get.

We had a great day Chip partnered Decky and I partnered Stewart. The game was up and down all day, Stewart had a nightmare visiting parts of the golf course none of us wanted to see, however he did bring home the bacon by birdieing the eighteenth. It made up for yesterdays losses !

Loch Lomond Golf Club by invitation only !

The big day came and went and contrary to my prejudgements and biased opinions it was without doubt one of the best days I have ever had on a golf course. Prior to going I was of the opinion that elitist golf does not belong in egalitarian Scotland. I could not have been further from the truth !

Yes Loch Lomond is by invitation only and yes it does have some extremely wealthy members, but once your in you could not be made to feel more welcome.

From the security at the gate to the valet service at the clubhouse we could not have been made to feel more at home, oh and as for the guy Willie in the gents changing room, thank you. Anyone that has the good fortune to go there anything you require from elastoplast to the greatest shoeshine ever, Willie is your man. Nothing is too much trouble for this kind man.

Firstly I would like to thank Ron Smart who owns a golf tour company called "Travelling The Fairways" for inviting me and secondly for allowing me to bring a couple of friends along. Chip who I was in the fire service with and Decky who I have become friends with since I have lived in St Andrews. You couldn't wish for two finer people to make up a fourball, except for Mr Moore of course.

We arrived early so we could enjoy a lunch and have a good look around the place because after all this was more than likely to be a one off occasion. To describe the clubhouse as opulent would be an understatement but I can't think of a better description.

First you have to get through the security at the gate, if your name is not on his list you don't get past the gate. Secondly we had to make my Nissan Micra disappear before we got to the clubhouse as there was no way I could let them valet park my little car, so we made a quick stop off in the car park whilst I loaded my golf gear into Deckys Lexus, which I felt would make a more appropriate impression ! Much to my dismay we were caught red handed because when we reached the clubhouse the first question we were asked was where was the missing car ? So my attempt to try not to look like Del Boy arriving at Loch Lomond failed.

The meet and greet guys at the clubhouse emptied the car and took the golf clubs off to the first tee, despite Chips attempts to carry his own clubs, it was explained in no uncertain terms that at Loch Lomond he could carry his own clubs once he reached the first tee ! Lunch was excellent then it was off to the practise range before the main event.

The course itself was everything I expected it to be, well manicured and beautifully taken care of. Much to my surprise there was a lot more space than I imagined there would be, meaning the fairways are a lot wider than they look on tv. The rough just off the fairway is not that penal, but there are definitely some areas where you will never see the ball again. As a bonus the weather was perfect, which had been a worry as the previous week we had rainstorms and gale force winds, yet here we were on a perfect day for golf.

As a bonus I took a caddy because if you are going to spend that much money to play a course you should never cut corners, and a course like this deserved to be savoured and enjoyed. Normally I wouldn't take a caddy because I have been a caddy for so many years I am uncomfortable with the situation, but as I advise tourists why come so far and pay so much then spoil your day by not knowing what your doing. Luckily Peter was the son of a caddy that I have worked with on many occasions at Kingsbarns so we had a great time with plenty to discuss.

It was without doubt one of the best days I have ever experienced on a golf course. A perk of the job that I do is that I am often invited to play some of the worlds greatest golf courses for free, Loch Lomond I had to pay for. Paying to play goes against the grain but I have to say the experience of the day was well worth the money. Plus Loch Lomond Golf Club bases its principles on Augusta, so to be invited to play there was a privilege. No amount of money is going to get you in there without an invite and that is what made the day so special for the three of us. The experience lived up to everything I hoped it would be and more.

Inverness, St Andrews and eventually Troon.

It's been over a week since the last blog which means one of two things, I've either been very busy or I've nothing to talk about and those that know me will tell you the later will never happen ! Last Wednesday I wrote about the end of George Fishers trip which the guys have since been in touch to kindly tell me what a great trip they had. Since then life has been a little busy.
First up was an overnight trip to Inverness with the Motherwell Ladies Bowling Team, who had qualified to play in the all Scotland finals. Now I don't about yourselves but I know very little about bowling and before Thursday I had the usual bigoted impression of the game. Which was a game played by mature people wearing silly white clothing. So Thursday tea time I collect thirty ladies from Motherwell Bowling Club and off went to Inverness for the night.
Firstly the majority of the party may well have been on the mature side but old in attitude they were not, in fact some were down right feisty, enough to make a driver nervous !! Secondly I have to say I have never been so well fed on a journey in my life. Everyone of these ladies turned up with sandwiches, crisps, biscuits and god knows what else to eat on route. They even fed the lorry drivers at the services where we stopped. We left at around 5.30pm and we made the hotel in Inverness at 9pm, the weather was appalling which is not good for bowling. After a good dinner I made for the safety of my room and despite various promises and threats I was left in peace.
Friday was supposed to be simple, leave the hotel at 8.45am and it was only 10 minutes to the Inverness Bowling Club. Two problems, firstly it turns out that some of the ladies had a party in their room and two of them were still in bed at 9am, and sleeping well I may add. Secondly the address they supplied the driver with for the bowling club could not have been more wrong. So instead of arriving at the bowling club at 9am and having a nice breakfast before their game at 9.30am, they arrived at 9.40am dashed out of the bus and promptly lost their match ! After a sombre lunch the ladies took part in the third and forth play off which they won. We then had the long ride home getting back at around 10.15pm.
Saturday and Sunday I spent working for a company called The Eden Club, who keep a house they call Pitorrmie Castle just outside of St Andrews. I've done little bits of work for them on and off over the last five years. It's an organisation that has members all around the world and it's just a case of chauffeuring their people to and from the house to the golf course. Nowhere near as much fun as driving the normal golf tour that I normally do. Having said that the next three days were no fun at all !
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I spent working for McLaren Travel ferrying eight members from the Wisley Golf Club, from the airport to the hotel and then transfer them to and from the golf courses that they had arranged to play. Finally taking them back to Edinburgh Airport on Wednesday tea time. Frankly I couldn't get rid of them quick enough thanks to one prick who drove me nuts for the three days. These people got their transport at a third of the normal cost for the simple reason that I just provided a taxi service from a to b, not the normal full service that I provide to most clients. As for the asshole who sat at the back of the bus he wins my vote for being the most miserable person I have had the misfortune to meet this summer ! He whined, he moaned, he was miserable, he wanted a service that he didn't pay for and after the great Canadian people I have met this summer I have to say he does that nation a great disservice ! As they left to catch their plane they said we'll see you next year, personally I'd rather stick a live wasp up my anus than see these people again !!!!
Tonight I'm off to drive the crew of a film shoot in Glasgow and then tomorrow I am playing Loch Lomond with some good friends, now that will be a great day.

Fairmont Hotel Kittocks Course then Edinburgh

After the late night on Saturday the guys decided to have an easy day Sunday. I picked them up at 11am including their luggage as today they checked out of The Greyfriars Hotel. Tonight they are moving on to The Apex International in Edinburgh, for their last night in Scotland.

Today they played golf on The Kittocks Course which is part of The Fairmont Hotel Resort just outside St Andrews. The Fairmont has two courses the other being The Torrance Course which last week hosted the Scottish Seniors Open, no idea who won, as I wasn't paying attention to it.

Anyway I digress the reason the guys (actually George decided) chose this course was because after a week of walking they could ride carts on The Kittocks. They also liked the setting overlooking the harbour and a very scenic clubhouse to have dinner later. Once they finished playing and eating we headed off to Edinburgh to The Apex Hotel. Once they had checked in we said our goodbyes as tomorrow the guys would be taking taxis to the airport as they all leave at different times and on different flights. George presented me with a card that all of the guys had signed and made comments about the week we have been together. I would also like to thank each and everyone of them for their extraordinary generosity, thank you.

Do you know at the start of this summer I didn't know how this new venture was going work out but I have to say I have had a great season and met some wonderful people all of whom I can look forward to seeing again. George and his group have been a pleasure to work with, although George himself is something a a mystery and as he would say "not a man for details", the week worked out great despite the guesswork on my part.

Old Course St Andrews then Runrig at Scone Palace

What a long day it started at 5am and finished at 2.30am the next morning, welcome to the simple world of George Fisher ! First up was a 7am tee time on The Old Course closely followed by the second fourball at 7.40am. Once again the sun shone on the chosen ones, I still don't know how they have got away with staying dry.

To make up the two fourballs we were joined by Georges best friend, Shaun McIssac, who happened to be passing through town, (I'll explain that fluke later) and myself. That's three times this season I have had to play and that is three times more than usual. A amusing moment before we teed off was the second that George was introduced to his caddy. George once again was extolling the virtues of Kenny (the walk on water caddy) when today's caddy appeared. The caddys name was Heather, yes your right a female George took one look at Heather and uttered the immortal words "Kenny who" ? Fortunately for Heather her partner Ronnie was caddying in the game for Shaun, which kept George on best behaviour.

The game went well and the sun stayed out, but the wind got up to about 20mph, which made the course a little more difficult than usual. Everyone had their share of good and bad, birdies here and bogeys there etc. Even Gary managed to temporarily solve his hooking problem, although this was not a permanent fix. When the guys finished it was off to The Dunvegan for lunch. What everyone did after lunch I do not know as I disappeared to take care of some issues before our evening commenced.

It turns out that George is good friends with Bruce Guthrie who happens to be the lead singer with the Scottish band Runrig. Last night Runrig were headlining a festival at Scone Palace, known as the homecoming concert. The homecoming event is a government sponsored scheme to promote the 250th anniversary of the birth of Rabbie Burns the Scottish poet. Bruce had given George tickets for all of us to attend the concert and the party after. I picked the guys up at 6.30pm, despite the fact the event had started in mid afternoon. Bruce had text ed George to say Runrig would not be on stage till 8.30pm. I must admit I did have a chuckle to myself when I picked the guys up because I don't think I have ever seen a more unlikely bunch of rock concert punters ! George had the obligatory denims and Geoff still showing off his new waterproofs, the rest a group of maturing gentlemen in assorted golf clothing, plus Heather (Shauns wife not the caddy) and walk over water Kenny.

It just goes to show what a class bunch of people these guys are because apart from George, Kenny, myself and maybe Shaun I don't think any of them had ever heard of Runrig, and looking at the way they dressed they certainly had no idea they were spending the evening in a cold field next to Scone Palace. Regardless of the miss match we set off the guys drinking beer and myself still chuckling. I have to point out that I may have underestimated one of the group, as it turned out we discovered that Mike is a veteran of over 350 rock concerts.

As the evening unfolded it turned out that my fears about the guys being in the wrong place were unfounded. An runrig concert is indeed a very unusual event in terms of the people that attend it. If we take away the political overtones at the start of the evening which included the unveiling of the Scottish Soltire Flag on Scone Palace for the first time in history and a typical chest beating speech from the First Minister of Scotland, Alex Salmond, it was a very good night. Yes it was cold and we were well ripped off on the price of the drinks, including my coffee but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

When the show finished we had been told to make our way to the first aid post to the left of the stage and there we would get in to the after show party. This was the reason George had wanted us all to go so we could meet his friend Bruce. As after show parties go it was something of a disappointment and by that I mean a lack of celebratory more than anything else. As for the guys I think most were looking forward to getting back to the hotel. Bruce eventually appeared and despite his after show commitments to others he very kindly spent more time with us than I think he was supposed to, so for that we thank him. When he finished talking to us his time was taken up doing the political thing with Alex Salmond and press stuff. That done off we went back to the hotel. We got back to St Andrews just before 2am.

Just a comment for those that are interested and this is not a political point of view just an observation. Alex Salmond is the First Minister of Scotland, and this event was part of the 250 years celebration of Rabbie Burns birth. Alex must have thought that this would be a great opportunity to rally the masses. Scone Palace with it great Scottish heritage, the home of Scottish Kings etc, and Runrig headlining. I expect he believed he would walk on stage and be welcomed like a returning Lybian terrorist. There were cheers from the crowd but there was also a good proportion jeering. Now Alex whether you like him or not, is definitely one of the smoothest operators in politics in the U.K. He leads the Scottish Nationalist Party who currently have the majority in the Scottish Parliament. He also retains a seat at Westminster as an M.P. representing his Scottish Constituency. As one political opponent recently stated "geting dirt to stick to Alex Salmond is like trying to nail custard to the wall".

With all that has gone on recently by that I mean the early release of the Lybian (whose name escapes me just now), and the American reaction to that release, I wonder how long it will take before we discover it was actually nothing to do with Alex and his party, but more to do with Westminster. My money is on Alex being relinquished of all blame as usual. I think the jeers got his attention because when the party started and the people appeared he had a very nervous few moments, I think. Then he discovered he was among friends. Like I say just an observation and I could well be wrong and if I'm not I will never be able to prove it.

Kingsbarns Golf Links & George Fisher

Yesterday we played at Kingsbarns George's favourite golf course. He has been waxing lyrically about this course and his caddy Kenny since we met. Sure enough on the way to the course he was at it again. Now for my money it is the best course in Scotland, which is statement enough but George takes his praise to a higher place. As for Kenny his favourite caddy, well I do believe in Georges eyes Kenny can do the equivalent of walking on water !!!

As usual the sun shone on the guys whilst it rained everywhere around them, how they keep avoiding getting wet I will never know.

Their day was so good that they wanted to play the course again today, in the hope that they make the ballot on Saturday and would you believe these lucky so and so's got their wish. Tee times at Kingsbarns at 10am and 10.10am then they came out of the ballot for 7am and 7.40am tomorrow. I think I should ask these guys for six lucky numbers for the lottery ! The week is starting to feel like the film groundhog day and I believe had they not made the ballot George would have had the guys playing Kingsbarns on Saturday as well. It is a simple routine they like their dinner in The Russell Hotel and their golf at Kingsbarns. Thankfully we got tee times for the Old Course and Kenny has talked them into trying a different restaurant tonight.

Saturday is a big day for the guys, or maybe just George I'm not really certain. We play the Old Course and then George has got us all tickets to see Runrig at Scone Palace. As one very unkind Scotsman said to me Status Quo in kilts, personally I think that is a bit harsh. In the meantime would you believe George is friends with the lead singer, not only do we all have to go to the concert but we will be joining the band at the after show party. Great if you love name dropping, but as an Englishman I think I would rather take my chances at the agm of the tartan army in Aviemore !!

Auchterlonies then Carnoustie Golf Links

Yesterday we played at Carnoustie, when we set off from St Andrews the weather was appalling, the traditional sideways rain. We left St Andrews early so we could have time to stop at Auchterlonies Outlet Store along the way, so some of the guys could purchase some gortex waterproof clothing. On days like today there is very little that will keep you dry but with good gortex you maybe able to keep reasonably warm and dry, but quality does not come cheap.

As it turned several of the guys liked the look of some of the bargains they found so it wasn't just Geoff and Mike who ended up spending money.

We arrived at Carnoustie a little early approximately 12.30pm and our tee times were 2.00 and 2.10pm. The reason for this was that we had arranged for lunch in the Carnoustie Golf Club. This is not a well known fact but the golf club is more than happy to serve lunch to visiting parties. Jane and her staff will make you welcome and serve good food at reasonable prices.

The picture is of the guys getting ready in the car park before they head off for the first tee, bet they didn't get this treatment at Loch Lomond ! As you can see the weather was not great but would you believe it, the minute they stepped on to the course the sun came out, some people are just born lucky. Before the guys arrived they changed their arrangements and travelled over to St Andrews a day earlier than planned, so they could arrive at Carnoustie refreshed and to quote Tom "kick its ass". Wish I had a pound for every time I've heard that. Guess what ? Tom was right and if he has told me the truth he did kick its ass !!

Dinner was at The Russell Hotel where the party were entertained by Helen and her staff, they enjoyed it so much they have booked to go again tonight. By the way a message to Mike Twigg and party "the staff forgive you ". Only joking they said they had enjoyed your company and asked how you all were.

Today Scotlands finest Kingsbarns.

Loch Lomond and The George Fisher Group

Say hello to George Fisher and friends, well five out of the six as Geoff had made his own way to St Andrews. From left to right we have George, Gary, Peter, Tom and Mike pictured outside Stirling Castle. The Guys have been staying and playing at Loch Lomond since Saturday, I'm not going to point out the member you can guess.
I picked them up yesterday at 4.30pm and transferred them to Greyfriars Hotel in St Andrews. The choice of venue was George's he requested that they stay in a pub in the centre of town. Normally I would drive through Glasgow using the motorway but as it was tea time when we set off we took the back road to Stirling to avoid the Glasgow rush hour.
This pleased George as he is a great Runrig fan and has been watching a DVD showing their concert from Stirling Castle, and now he has had the opportunity to visit the place for himself. The guys focal point of this tour is a Runrig concert at Scone Palace on Saturday night. Someone in the group is so well connected that after the concert we are going to the groups party.
At this moment in time the group have only booked tee times at Carnoustie and Kingsbarns but three days at Loch Lomond seems to have raised the enthusiasm for more golf so we will take care of that for them.
It was gone 7.30pm by the time we got to St Andrews last night so it was a case of check in to the hotel a quick shower then explore the town. As usual with many of my guests they didn't manage to get past the Dunvegan Hotel. Jack and Sheena took good care of them with dinner and a few beers.
Today they are playing Carnoustie and the weather is appalling, so tomorrows blog could be an interesting tale of woe.

Next stop Loch Lomond, or so I thought !

So there I was sitting at Edinburgh Airport having just dropped Nina and Jim Sorenson off, and thinking how good it was going to be to have a couple of days off before I collect George Fisher and his friends from Loch Lomond on Tuesday. The phone rings and it is Roy Anderson from McLaren Travel, "where are you and what are you doing " ? Was the question. You know there are days when you should not answer the phone and this was one of them.
As usual with Roy life is never straight forward or simple, but in fairness he would never ask you to do something that he is not prepared to do himself, unlike some people I have worked for in the past ! His request was a simple one, "could I get to St Andrews and finish off the tour he was on as he had to be elsewhere on Saturday". The catch was the vehicle he wanted me to use was in Troon. Now for those of you who do not know the geography of Scotland Edinburgh and St Andrews are on the east coast, Troon is on the west coast !
So off I go 78miles to Troon, 120miles back to St Andrews getting there just in time to collect the information about where the guys were playing on Saturday and there departure time for Sunday. Here's what happened next.
The guys come off the eighteenth on The Old Course and go for a drink in The Dunvegan Hotel with Ron Smart, who owns Travelling The Fairways, the company they have booked with. They quickly introduce themselves to me and say they will not be long. Roy meanwhile sets off to Edinburgh Airport with one of the guys who has to leave early. Now bear in mind my day had started at 5am and it is now 6pm.
About thirty minutes later one of the guys comes out of The Dunvegan and asks to be taken to the hotel and tells me by the time I get back the others should be ready to leave. So off we go out of town to The Fairmont Hotel, nice hotel but just too far out of town to enjoy the atmosphere of St Andrews. When I get back the others eventually appear and they want a ride to The Balaka restaurant, a grand total off 300 yards ! They then ask if I would wait until they have finished eating and take them back to the hotel. Not tonight gentlemen, you can catch the hotel shuttle. The reason I couldn't do it was not because of my early start today but the time I had to pick the guys up the next morning, 7am. According to the laws of the land there has to be a minimum of 9hours between finish and start, failure to follow these rules result in a criminal prosecution. So if your driver ever tells you he cannot do something it is not because he doesn't want to help.
7am the next morning I'm outside the hotel but they are not, when they do eventually appear there were some serious hangovers on view. There tee time was 7.54am on The Castle Course only five minutes away so no real problem. When we get there they were in for a nasty surprise. They thought they had ordered seven caddies, but somewhere along the way the request was not passed on, so no caddies, a nightmare course and a serious hangover. When you drive a group around checking that the caddies are in place is normally something you do the day before. I didn't pick the guys up till 6.30pm so the caddy office would have been closed, Roy assumed everything was in place because it had been everywhere else. Ron said he had made the request and The Links Trust said he hadn't. Not that any of this mattered at this point. Also when you do request caddies there is no guarantee that you will get any.
One of the guys had a tantrum that had to be seen to be believed ! Now I don't mind doing Roy a favour but putting up with that crap no ! Fair play to the man when I came back to collect them at lunchtime he did apologise and a very good one it was too. He said "he was hungover and behaved like a jerk", I said "no problem and thanks for the apology, but if you ever open your mouth and speak to me like that again we will go around the back of the building and there the issue will be resolved". Next stop a 2.20pm and 2.30pm tee tmes at Kingsbarns. As we set of for Kingsbarns he viewed me with great suspicion and I don't blame because believe me I would have kept my word.
Kingsbarns went well the caddies were in place and the guys loved the course, and once again my new friend repeated his apology. After a few beers it was back to their hotel as they were leaving for Glasgow Airport at 5am, thanks again for that Roy. After the debacle of Saturday morning they were all up and ready to leave on Sunday on time and sober. When we got to the airport at 7am I have to say the guys were very generous with their respect for my two days work, for that I thank them.
Tomorrow I'm off to Loch Lomond to collect another No Traps group and we move on to St Andrews. So we will spend the next seven days following the exploits of the George Fisher Party.

Old Course, Kingsbarns and Edinburgh Castle.

It's been a very busy few days hence no blog.

Lets go back to Wednesday morning we started the day with a 8.10am tee time on The Old Course. Once again I played because of a restricted ballot. Most of the tee times had been taken up by the R & A, due to their Autumn Meeting so to get Nina and Jim on the course we applied for a local ballot time and were successful. We were joined by another local member Mick Moore, making us a fourball. Jim didn't start the round to well hooking his tee shot on the first. He then went to play a mulligan and was promtly reminded by the starter where he was and breakfast balls just don't happen on The Old Course ! He improved as the round went on, meanwhile Nina was steady all the way round. As for Mick and myself, lets just say he won the money !

After The Old Course, Nina and Jim went up to Kingsbarns in the hope they could get a tee time and we were fortunate enough to get 2.40pm. So after a good lunch in the clubhouse off they went again. The couple did very well weather wise despite the forecast which predicted rain and lots of it, they only got wet for a couple of holes on The Old Course. They finished their long day with dinner in Sands Restaurant which is in The Old Course Hotel.

Thursday started with us leaving The Old Course Hotel at 9am and transfering the couple to Tigerlilys in Edinburgh, their plan was to spend the day sightseeing and visiting the local tourist spots. After spending the first three hours visiting the castle the weather was so bad they retreated back to their hotel and I got an earlier finish than anticipated. Apparently when the weather cleared up later they spent sometime wondering around the city and visited a tapas restaurant on George Street for their dinner.

Friday was another early start as it was departure day for them, we were at Edinburgh Airport before 9am for their first class Delta flight back to the States. I would like to thank them both for their company and being a lot easier to deal with than I first imagined they would be. Although I have to say I will not miss Ninas thirst for knowledge about Scotland, I don't know any one person who has ever asked me so many questions. Thank you both for the respect you showed your driver at the airport you are very kind.

Carnoustie Golf Links

Today Nina and Jim were booked to play Carnoustie Championship Links at 11am and with the weather being a little overcast the day did not look too promising. Sure enough it did rain on and off for most of their round. The starter paired them up with a couple of German golfers.
The day didn't start to great for Jim as when we arrived at Carnoustie he discovered that he had left his golf shoes in the changing rooms at Turnberry. With the best will in the world even I couldn't do a two hundred and sixty mile round trip and get the golf shoes back on time. So it was into the pro shop and a nice new pair of brown eccos to start the day. If Jim wants to forget them before he catches his flight home there will be no complaints from the driver.
It was an expensive day for me too as I decided to visit the Carnoustie Golf Shop on the High Street, by the time they finished with me I was walking out with a new Taylor Made Burner driver. I have to thank Mike Twigg and his party for giving me the means to afford such a luxury, thanks guys you were very kind and please come back again I need a five wood !!
When Nina and Jim finished their round it was back to the hotel after a couple of errands in St Andrews, mainly to prevent Jim from getting egg on his face should he have been proved wrong about the hotels electrics. Tonight they are dining in the hotel with a friend should he make it down from Inverness in time.
Tomorrow we are fortunate enough to have got a 8.10am tee time in the Old Course ballot. It is a local time so I will have to play with the pair. At this time of the year it is almost impossible to be successful in the ballot because the R&A have a large block of tee times till the end of the month. But being a member of The St Andrews Club I am allowed to ballot for a local time, if I hadn't done this they would never have got on

Turnberry to The Old Course Hotel.

Nina and Jim played the Ailsa Course at 10.10am and apart from a few showers were very lucky with the weather. My day started with a meeting, Tracey Smith the reservations manager at Turnberry was kind enough to treat me to coffee.
Turnberry as some of you may know was taken over last year and is now part of the Luxury Collection Group, it also now managed by Starwood Management. So for all those members of these groups there cannot be many better places to use your loyalty points etc.
Once Nina and Jim had finished playing golf we faced a two and a half hour drive to St Andrews. In order to beat the tea time traffic in Glasgow they decided to get lunch to go. In the picture the couple are outside Peggys Tea Room in Kirkoswald, which is a couple of miles up the road from Turnberry. Nina said the sandwiches and the place were excellent, which is high praise from a lady that sets high standards.
After they checked in at The Old Course Hotel they made themselves at home in St Andrews. They wandered up North Street and explored the Abbey and university buildings. They had dinner at The Glass House, a restaurant I have yet to try and they assure me the food was great.
To wind down their evening they went to the cinema, the kind of old building you won't see too many of in the States and watched "The Time Travellers Wife". Tomorrow they face the challenge of Carnoustie.
Thanks to the lemonade kid for a very complimentary email about last week, but he rebelled on his last day at The Colonels House and didn't make his bed. Maybe there is hope for him yet.

Glasgow Airport to Turnberry.

Today I picked up a new party this week it is a couple so meet Jim and Nina Sorenson, pictured here at Culzean Castle, near Turnberry. This is another contract for Ron Smart who's company is Travelling the Fairways. Their itinerary is a relatively simple one, tonight they stay at Turnberry, play the Ailsa Course at 10.10am tomorrow.
When they finish golf we transfer to St Andrews and they stay at The Old Course Hotel. They are playing Carnoustie on Tuesday, and hopefully The Old Course on Wednesday. Thursday will be a day out in Edinburgh and they are staying at Tigerlily. Then goodbye on Friday.
You may think that it is a short trip but they have already had six days in Ireland.

Edinburgh Airport and goodbye to the Twigg Party.

So it's goodbye to Mike Twigg and his party dropped off at Edinburgh Airport at 8.30am this morning. I've enjoyed their company and look forward to seeing them again sometime, not a minutes trouble and no outrageous demands. Normally when you meet a group of eight there is always one pain in the butt, this lot didn't have one.

The guys were a little concerned about Kelly, one described him as "an international incident waiting to happen " ! But it didn't so he must have been on his best behaviour. Although Rob did say to him one day "Kelly you have always been a dick, but today you really pushed the envelope out" ! Nice one Rob.

It was a good trip which included being invited into the R&A for a drink, and Catriona Matthews caddy carrying Robs bag at North Berwick. When it came to paying the caddy Rob asked if Gary normally took a percentage of his wife's winnings, if this was the case he owed Rob $4 as Rob lost that morning.

Finally the answer to the question, the secret bed maker ? For those who haven't worked it out it was the lemonade kid, surprise surprise !!

One last message guys "going in hot ". Take care and hopefully I'll see you again.

North Berwick Golf Club and Muirfield

Final day of golf thirty six holes, North Berwick and Muirfield, and some good Scottish weather to boot ! You could not get two more contrasting environments. North Berwick is another of my favourite places, they are friendly, welcoming and nothing is too much trouble to the club. Sam the starter/ranger is one of the most entertaining people you will meet on your travels. If you go in the clubhouse (and you should) Linda and Susan will make you welcome. The food is good and delivered with a smile, caps and mobile phones are not welcome.
Contrast this with Muirfield. There the driver is not allowed within one hundred yards of the golf club and woe betide any driver who dares to take his golfers to the gate ! If you stay for lunch you have to dress accordingly, jacket, shirt and tie etc. Fair play it is a great golf course but why would you want to go any place where are you treated as an inconvenience ? I'll show you the difference in the following paragraphs.
When we arrived at North Berwick we discovered that one of the caddies had phoned in to say he couldn't turn up as he had to attend a funeral. So Malcolm the starter phoned around to try and find a replacement. As hard as he tried he couldn't find a caddy. Then after a moments inspiration he realised that Catriona Matthew, who won the British Ladies Open last week was playing the course, who lives in the town. That meant her husband who caddied for her last week was sat at home, one phone call and Rob had Catrionas caddy carrying his bag. Now how cool is that ? Last week Gary was walking down the eighteenth at Royal Lytham with a two shot lead to win the Ladies Bitish Open, next week he will be at the Solhiem Cup. Meanwhile he caddies for Rob on a wet Friday in North Berwick.
Meanwhile to play Muirfield we had to be back at the Colonels House at 3pm, where the guys would be escorted to the course, be late at their peril. As our tee times at North Berwick were 10.22am and 10.36am things were going to be tight. So to help Susan in the clubhouse organised packed lunches for the guys. As things turned out play was slow and the weather appalling so I picked the guys up at the seventeenth tee.
Muirfield had insisted that the guys played in twoballs, so despite a 3.30pm first tee of time all the guys were round the course in less than three hours. So instead of the planned takeaway for dinner I was able to get them a reservation at Bella Italia in North Berwick. The food was good but dinner was relatively quite due to tiredness. After dinner the guys went back to the house to watch the Tiger show on tv, better known as the USPGA, over here the coverage consists watching Tiger from A to Z and listening to Bruce Harmon extol his virtues, I think Butch is in love !!!
Leaving The Colonels House at 7.45am to get the guys to Edinburgh Airport in time for their flight home.

Gullane Number One

Today the sun shone and the weather was great. There was a bit of a hold up on the first tee due to a large party playing in front of the guys. The other problem we had were the caddies. Some of the guys ended up with kids carrying their bags, whether this was because of the large demand for caddies today or some other reason, we didn't get to find out. Fact of the matter was the kids were useless and had no interest in the job ! I mentioned it to the caddymaster and unfortunately there were some political reasons as to why these kids were working. All I will say to Bob is good luck sorting that out.

No great tales from the golf course except "Bandit Bill" is still doing the business and could have all the money tied up before the last game at Muirfield.

The interesting part of the day came after the golf was finished. When you play Gullane Number One you become a member of the golf club for the day, and it has to be said that one or two of the group abused their privileges, didn't you Bruce !! So by the time we went for dinner, at a place called the Old Clubhouse across the road certain people had difficulty focusing on the menu.

Dinner was great and the portions huge, so much so some guys didn't really need a main course. As the wine and the beer flowed one or two decided it would be a good idea to go into Edinburgh and revisit a few of the pubs they went to last Friday when they first arrived here. It has to be said the driver was non to keen on the idea but fair play to the guys they kept their side of the bargin and were back on the bus by 11pm, thank you. They were all home and tucked in by midnight, some bunch of John Waynes these are turning out to be ! To the wives and families out there who read this you have absolutely no concerns when you let these guys out, unlike some groups I've had in the past.

Once again the lemonade kid was in bed early, along with Bill and Rick (that's not the same bed by the way but bedrooms), the rest as we know sampling various drinks at Mathers Bar in Edinburgh. So a question for you all. Which one of the guys is so tidy that he even makes his own bed up in the morning ? I'll have you know he made his bed so well that Patricia the lady who looks after the Colonels didn't think he'd slept in it !!! I'll let you know when they have left the country.

Tomorrow thity-six holes, North Berwick in the morning and Muirfield in the afternoon and there will be no trips to Edinburgh once that is done !

Mrs Twigg, Mike said you tried to add a comment. I think if you want to do this you have sign up for a google account, this is because the blog is run through google. It's free so give it a go.

OLd Course St Andrews before and after

So hopefully you will now understand why you shouldn't ever leave your umbrella with the driver. You will not believe how many I have collected over the years !!!!

And they never saw it coming !